You suck. I'm sure this statement comes as no surprise. You know it, I know it and now Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon know it. In fact the only person in the universe who probably doesn't think you suck is Jay Leno. But that's okay because the rest of the intelligent human beings in North America know he sucks too and his opinion counts for diddley.
The fact that Jay Leno ever beat David Letterman in the ratings was something that always stumped me, and disturbed me.... like the shows "My Monkey Baby" or "I didn't Know I was Pregnant". I never understood why people would spend time on something so incredibly sub-par.
But looking back now - especially after the debacle that is The Jay Leno Show at 10pm - I think I have a theory. And since you, NBC, don't seem to have the brain power to see around your egotastic mistakes, I am here to enlighten you.
The world smartened up.
Most importantly, America is smartening up.
Obama is here and he road in on a desire and need for CHANGE. We no longer want to be placated or accept sub-par as the norm. We want people to work for their money. That includes our TV shows.
Exhibit A: Modern Family on ABC.
When this show debuted I was instantly addicted to its smart writing, its unique format and its talented acting. And I was also immediately panicked. I thought for sure that this show was too smart for Americans. That it wouldn't get watched and people wouldn't "get it". Every person I talked to who watched it worried about the same thing.
Well, it's doing fantastic. See, NBC, America has changed.
This is why Jay Leno at 10pm was bound to be a catastrophic mistake. Nobody wants your waterdown, bumbling, hack chin-man anymore. He's not smart enough for us anymore. We want originality, not regurgitated Howard Stern bits. We want intelligent, acerbic commentary on the world, blunt candidness (think David Letterman affair scandal). That haze of pseudo-intelligence, bumbling vagueness and lackluster interviewing Jay Leno forks over isn't good enough anymore.
I understand, dear Peacock, you are trying to get your pretty feathers back in a row by putting Jay back where "he belongs" but seriously, it's over. Let him go. It doesn't matter what timeslot you put him in the stench of failure will follow.
The people who went over to David Letterman, begrudgingly or not, are watching David Letterman now. And they will keep doing so, IMO. Why would they leave a show that hasn't let them down for one that did?
Your only hope is the few die hard dumbasses that still live in small pockets of the US. You know who they are - they're the ones voting Yes on Prop 8 bullshit.... and the ones not watching your only decent show this year (Community). The fact is though, they are dinosaurs - bound for extinction sooner rather than later - and not worth investing your network on.
So do the world a favor - do yourself a favor - give Jay Leno the golden handshake once and for all. And give Conan & Jimmy a chance to find their comedy feet. If you think Conan's ratings are low wait till you put Leno back there.
All the best,