Monday, September 15, 2008

a rough weekend

i've been trying to come to terms with the fact that now that my daughter is in school, i must give up my afternoons and evenings with her to her father.

he and his girlfriend took frith out for dinner yesterday, and when she came home she announced that she wanted to go live with papa and courtney, and she started packing. only the rain turned her back, as she walked past the driveway pulling her suitcase behind her.

the new arrangement means i will see her much less, and i already miss her awfully. she is growing up so quickly, and so much of the time i DO get to spend with her is taken up with running madly to get ready for school in the morning, or shopping for food, or cleaning the house, or driving to visit with relatives clamouring for frith time, or whatever.

it isn't logical, but i am so very jealous of her papa spending every day of the first three years of her life just BEING with her. i never had that chance. and now, i will never get it.


Jennie said...

you are her rock. you are the one teaching her the value of standing on her own two feet. you've also made sure that she knows if she needs it, she'll ALWAYS have you to lean on. the bond the two of you have can't EVER be broken by shiny toys, cookies or temporary distractions.

if her papa was any kind of a real man he'd grow up and get a real job to let YOU have some just be time with her.

Joan said...

sniff. thank-you auntie jennie. i needed to hear that.