Tuesday, September 16, 2008

USA They're Oh... What Is That?!

Did I ever tell you about the time I went on a weekend getaway to Buffalo, NY with my two friends Aoan and Japril*?

It was a lovely trip and we had no idea that Buffalo had such a booming nightlife! And so filled with Canadian culture! Everywhere we went we tried to embrace the vibe of American Life but instead at every turn were smacked in the face with our own boring culture - Molson beer, DuMaurier cigarettes, men named Doug and Tragically Hip cover bands (who, as it turns out, may have actually been the Tragically Hip).

For most of our trip poor Japril was suffering from some pretty awful bowel problems and sadly Aoan and I were made to suffer the consequences. Aoan has since filed a grievance with the Geneva Convention - humans no longer being allowed to used chemical warfare and all that. All I can say is thank goodness for power windows and the inability to drive 55.

We enjoyed a fun filled day of shopping and an even more filled fun night of drinking and dancing and a rousing game of Poke The American In The Politics. Truth be told I was the only one that played that game, sometimes I enjoy living dangerously. Six bars, eight different aliases and twenty broken hearts later we were done.

We set off the next morning for home, but not before stopping at Target to do a little last minute bargain hunting.

While waiting in line to use the ATM I realized that my digestive system was beginning to suffer the effects of over-indulgence on American Beer and Fried Goodness. Knowing that I can be very discreet (that is to say, I can fart without making noise) I let go. My sincerest apologies to any and all within a 20 foot radius of me that day. Oh my. I think I may have even caused on unsuspecting woman to go into labour.

Being the kind of lady I am, when asked by Japril "What is that! That's awful! Did you fart?" I politely replied "Oh darling, that was not me, it must have been you. You're the one with the overactive colon my friend."

What gobsmacked me the most was that Japril actually believed me and for the next year-and-a-half would blush, apologize and run out of the room anytime the words, Target, Buffalo, Doug or beer came up in conversation. I eventually let her off the hook and confessed to my crime.

She has since forgiven me and I can still laugh about it to this day though I'm not quite sure she sees the humour in it yet. Maybe I'm not telling it right.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent

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